Writing Your Own Wedding Vows : A Guide For Couples 

Planning a wedding when you already have children. Whether they’re yours, theirs, or a beautifully blended mix - is a chance to celebrate not just your relationship, but the family you’ve built together. And as a friendly celebrant who specialises in relaxed ceremonies, I can tell you this: children at weddings don’t have to be a source of stress. In fact, they can be the secret ingredient that makes your day unforgettable. Whether your little ones are toddling down the aisle clutching a toy dinosaur, or your teens are rolling their eyes while secretly loving the attention, there are countless ways to involve them meaningfully (and hilariously) in your ceremony. Below are ideas for younger children, older children, and teens - all designed to help you create a family wedding that feels authentic, joyful, and wonderfully *you*. Ideas for Younger Children (0–7 years) Younger children bring spontaneity, charm, and the occasional loud announcement about needing a snack. Embrace it. A relaxed ceremony is the perfect setting for them to shine. 1. Mini VIP Entrances Let them walk, toddle, or be carried down the aisle. They can hold flowers, bubbles, a favourite teddy, or even a sign that says, “Here comes Mummy/Daddy.” Top tip : If they refuse to move from the middle of the aisle and decide the guests *must* admire their sparkly shoes before anything else happens… we simply roll with it. I’ve officiated that exact moment. It was iconic. 2. Bubble Blowers Instead of petals, give them bubble wands. It keeps their hands busy and looks magical in photos. Plus, bubbles are basically toddler catnip. 3. Family Unity Rituals Younger children love anything visual and hands‑on. Try: **Sand blending** (each person pours a different colour) **Handprint canvas** **Planting a family tree sapling** These rituals are simple, symbolic, and perfect for a family wedding. 4. Ring Security (with maximum cuteness) Give them a badge, sunglasses, and a tiny briefcase labelled “Rings.” Will they actually guard the rings? Absolutely not. Will everyone melt? Absolutely yes. 5. Storytime Moment I can include a short, personalised story about your family featuring your children as the heroes. Younger kids adore hearing their names, and it keeps them engaged during the ceremony. Ideas for Older Children (8–12 years) This age group loves being involved, but they also appreciate having a role that feels “grown‑up.” 1. Junior Bridesmaids & Groomsmen Give them a special outfit, a special title, and a special job. They’ll beam with pride. 2. Reading or Poem (with teamwork magic!) Older children often enjoy reading something meaningful — a poem, a quote, or even something they’ve written. And here’s a brilliant tip: **pairing two children together to share a reading works beautifully.** It eases nerves, gives them confidence, and makes for a gorgeous photo moment. 3. Family Vows Include a short vow to your children, and let them respond with something simple like: “We promise to share the snacks.” “We promise to help each other.” "We promise to be a family.” t’s sweet, funny, and incredibly moving. 4. Helping with Rituals Older children can: - Tie ribbons in a handfasting - Pour unity sand - Light candles (with supervision!) - Present symbolic items These roles give them a sense of importance and connection. 5. The Family Treasure Box Ask each child to place something meaningful into a keepsake box during the ceremony - a drawing, a small toy, a note, a photo. It becomes a time capsule of your family as it is today. Ideas for Teens (13+) Teens are a special breed at weddings. They want to be involved… but not *too* involved. The trick is giving them roles that feel mature, not childish. 1. Ceremony Co‑Creators Teens love having a say. Let them help choose: - Music - Readings - Rituals - The vibe of the ceremony They’ll feel valued, and you’ll avoid the classic teen expression of “I’m only here for the cake.” 2. Meaningful Readings Teens often choose beautifully unexpected readings - song lyrics, book quotes, or something they’ve written themselves. And yes, if they want to quote Taylor Swift, we can absolutely make that work. 3. Tech Wizards Let them run the music, manage the livestream, or handle the microphones. They’ll feel like the ceremony’s backstage heroes. 4. Family Unity Cocktail (or Mocktail!) Each family member adds an ingredient to a shared drink — a fun, symbolic moment that teens love because it feels grown‑up without being too sentimental. Ideas for All Ages 1. A Family Entrance Walk in together as a family. It’s a beautiful way to show that this ceremony is about all of you. 2. A Family Promise I can guide you through a short, lighthearted family vow that everyone repeats together. Something like: “We promise to laugh, support each other, and always share the last biscuit.” 3. A Family Certificate Signing I can create a decorative certificate for all family members to sign - even the littlest scribblers. 4. A Family First Dance (or Wiggle) After the ceremony, have a short family dance moment. It doesn’t have to be choreographed. It can be a joyful wiggle to Baby Shark if that’s your family vibe. Practical Tips for a Smooth Family Wedding **Snacks are sacred** Hungry children are tiny chaos goblins. **Have a “kid wrangler”** A trusted adult who can swoop in if needed. **Keep it relaxed** A friendly celebrant will adapt to whatever happens - dropped petals, unexpected commentary, or a toddler insisting on standing with you for the entire ceremony. **Let go of perfection** The imperfect moments are often the ones you’ll treasure most. Final Thoughts Children at weddings bring joy, humour, and heart. When you involve them in your ceremony, you’re not just getting married...you’re celebrating the family you already are. And with a relaxed ceremony led by a friendly celebrant who adores working with families, the whole experience becomes warm, meaningful, and wonderfully memorable. If you’re planning a family wedding and want a ceremony that feels personal, fun, and full of love, I’d be delighted to help you bring it to life. **Get in touch and let’s start creating something beautiful together.**

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